02 The Beginning

Three weeks later, I was sitting in front of the TV, watching something that I thought was supposed to be a comedy, but I didn't find it funny. I switched the TV off and walked up stairs toward my room. Maybe something on the computer could hold my interest on this rainy Saturday. I almost wanted to go somewhere to wander around, burn off some energy that I had been bottling up. It had been raining for close to a week, and it was a good thing that the drainage systems in the area were as good as they were. As I waited on the computer to boot, it suddenly dawned on me that I might be able to see if these feelings that I kept having were normal. The downside would be that I would have to sift the noise from the signals and get the right answer. Once the computer was on, I connected to the internet and launched the web browser to begin my research.

I looked at the clock when I heard the garage door open and blinked. I had been at my research for several hours, that or lost in a day dream, I still wasn't sure which. I saved some of the stuff that I had copied into files buried deep inside the folder structure where I hoped no one would find them.

"Allen, we're home. I brought some food, your sister and I still have to go out looking for a dress for the dance coming up at school." My mom, Katherine said.

"What did you bring for food?" I asked, heading down the stairs. This is a good thing, I can continue my research...I thought walking into the kitchen and smelling roast beef. My mom had stopped at a national chain restaurant and gotten me my favorite: a roast beef and cheddar sandwich. I presumed that this was because her and my sister would be gone all day. My sister was a rather picky girl that was very talented and smart, although her dishwater blonde hair led to the typical jokes. Her grey eyes sparkled in the little bit of light in the kitchen. "I figured it was the least that I could do for you, we've been gone all morning, and, will probably be gone most of the evening as well. I'm just glad that we can trust you to behave when you are home alone." Mom said, grabbing a glass and getting some water from the dispenser that was built into the front of the fridge.

"I would probably be bored to tears if I had to go with you..." I replied, taking a bite of my sandwich. The truth was that I would have loved to go dress shopping. It would have made the outside of my body partially match the way the inside of my body felt. I had been feeling this way for quite some time, and was unsure how to break this feeling to my mother or father. I brushed a few pieces of my shoulder blade length blonde hair out my eyes... When I had started growing it, I had expected more of a fuss from my mom and dad, but had received surprisingly little in the way of it.

"Carly couldn't get her boyfriend to go shopping with her for that very reason..." My sister, Heather said... "It's a pity, he's really good at fashion..." I glanced over at Heather, she had on a simple heather grey tunic and black leggings. I presumed that this would be easy to remove when she was trying on dresses. She wouldn't have to remove the leggings, just the tunic and try on the dress. I offered her a potato bite, which she accepted.

"Todd whats-his-name is good at fashion?" I knew of Todd, there had been some speculation the he was actually gay, not that I cared.

"Yeah. He has a knack for it. He really should go into fashion design. There are some days that Carly lets him pick out her clothes." I blinked.

"I didn't know that." I said, finishing off my sandwich.

"Heather, we should get going. I just hope this rain lets up before we get to the mall..." Mom said. Heather picked up her purse, smiled at me, and went out to get in the car. "Be good, I. I'll call you if any thing changes." She said, and then kissed the top of my head, and went out to the car. As I finished the potato bites, I heard mom pull out of the garage and the door shut again. I tossed the bag that contained the remains of my dinner in the trash, grabbed a Pepsi from the fridge, and went back upstairs. I reopened all of the research that I had done so far and got back on the internet.

Around eight pm I stood up and stretched, stripped, grabbed my robe and headed for the bathroom to take a shower. Mom and Heather still weren't home yet and I predicted them to get home around nine thirty. Walking in the bathroom, I dropped my clothes in the hamper and noticed the skirt and shirt that Heather had worn the day before laying on the top. It was a black long sleeved shirt and a pink and black plaid skirt. I pulled them out and held them to my body, noticing that I was small enough, or so it seemed to wear them. I looked around the bathroom, and then locked the door. I didn't want anyone to come in on me while I was in here. The skirt had a thick black elastic waist band and every time I had seen Heather wear this skirt, she had the shirt tucked in. I slipped the shirt on, noticing that the fabric, even though it was cotton just like most of my shirts, felt softer. I picked the skirt up and looked at it. I had been having feelings for quite some time that I was supposed to be a girl, and my limited research told me that I was definitely not alone in my feelings. I stepped into the skirt which swished around my legs as I pulled it toward my waist, pausing momentarily, I tucked the shirt into the skirt and then turned to the mirror on the back of the door. Looking back at me was a younger version of my sister, down to the dishwater blonde hair, the exception being that I had a set of dazzling blue eyes. Looking at the mirror, I realized that I needed a name, one that wasn't distinctly male, but more feminine... I could tell that I was going to be a girly girl and when I came clean with my feelings that I needed a name that shouted girly...

"Zoe." I said, looking at my reflection in the mirror. "Zoe Elizabeth" I smiled and then took off the top and skirt, and got into the shower, The image of Zoe burned in my mind for ever. As I showered, I looked down at my body and it's relative lack of hair and briefly wondered if anyone would notice if I shaved my legs...

I had just laid down in my bed, a faint glow coming from the monitor of my laptop as it hadn't fallen asleep yet and I didn't feel like closing the lid. I tossed and turned for a little bit, trying to find the sweet spot in the mattress. What bothered me was that I couldn't get that image of Zoe out of my head. I idly wondered what the rest of the family would say if they knew about Zoe, thinking that they would spaz and then disown me or something. Kick me out or no, they would make sure my life became a living hell, I was sure of that. Right as I fell asleep, I thought that i heard the garage door opening and mom's car pull in. That meant that mom and Heather were home, and that meant that I needed to to not mention Zoe to anyone...